Ideally, when we choose friends, it’s usually not on purpose….not as an adult anyway. I mean, I don’t really think that we look at each other like, “Oh yeah…that’s gonna be my friend….just watch!” Well, some may, but that’s a different blog. EHEMMMM….so…we join together in this friendship thinking that now we have someone to hang with…lunch with…movie with…talk with….and then, in some rare occasion, we become “besties”. Now, what makes a bestie??? Each person probably has their own definition, which may (or may not) be why no one ever lives up to anyone else’s expectation of what a true friend REALLY is….because different folk have different thoughts and expectations. Most of which are never discussed or relayed. Folks that are in these friendships with each other, don’t know what the other expects. For instance, in kindergarten, there are usually levels to friendships…everyone is automatically friends unless you do something I don’t like, in which case, you are officially unfriended for like 7 minutes or until I like your new toy. Then, we become best-friends if you sit next to me at lunch on pizza day and share your play doh during discovery center time. See how that works? There are clearly defined lines and rules to friending. As we got older, we started out with a peace offering by making
Anyhoo, what if, we were more like children, or even more like a courting couple? What if we made our expectations known? What if we did fast and pray before choosing to hang together? Would that make a difference? I’m sure it would. But is it feasible….well….depends on the instance and the person or persons involved. It should be feasible…but “people” don’t work that way. What I will say though, is that I believe it’s important to seek God on any aspect of our lives, including who we should grant our friendship to. I mean friends, especially best friends, usually pay a very important role. And we gotta remember (and be cautious of the fact) that, we sometimes ascribe more trust and communication to these “people” than we do God. Don’t believe me??? When something new happens in your life, who do you call first? When you have a problem, who do you call first for advice? When your friend gives you the “perfect” gift, don’t you swoon all over them??? When Jesus wakes you up everyday, do you show the same, or greater, appreciation??? Even if you’ve learned better, at some point in your life, you called a friend INSTEAD of Jesus. So then, realizing that, how important do you think it is to seek God on choosing your “circle”? Very! 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, “Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?” (NLT). Now, as children of God, we are expected to be friendly. (“A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24) But that doesn’t mean that you just “hang” with anyone. They have to challenge you and help to make you better. (“Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” Proverbs 27:17) A friend, in my opinion, should be able to pray for me! Like….I’ve made this a life rule, if you can’t pray, then we can’t hang. And as children of God, we should be this way. Friendship is a life matter….!!!
I’ve learned that there are things I that shouldn’t have to express a need of. If I trust you as a friend, I automatically expect support. Often, we just need to feel that someone is there for us. Let me know that it’s okay for me to have dreams and that I should, first seek God, and then follow them. We should be able to let each other know that we want God’s best for each other and that we can agree for God’s will to be done in each other’s lives. (“Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heav