Do any of y’all remember being in elementary school and playing dodge ball, or any of those playground games that required teams? I can recall the two captains (still don’t know how they got to be so) taking turns and choosing who would be on their teams. As I recall, the kids they were friends with got chosen first (nothing really to do with athletic skill), then went the bigger kids they didn’t know that well, then went the kids that, well, I guess were considered not bff’s and not the best players, but they were ‘okay’. Then there always seemed to be that one kid that was the odd number and the teacher had to make a team choose them. Just that one kid… in every class. Like, I don’t think classes had even numbers back then (hmmmm… oh well).
No, this post isn’t about dodge ball, at all. And if you’ve read any of my other blog posts, you understand that the aforementioned memory is leading to some life situation that my brain has somehow likened it to. So, here ya go…. EHEM… have you “chosen” yourself yet?? I mean, have you? In calling everyone that would have a chance to throw the ball, did you call your own name? Just like that dinky dodge ball game, each child was chosen because they were friends with the captain, they were big, or they happened to play stuff real good. So, why have you chosen your entire team and you aren’t on it?
Let me give clarity to my thought: in life, we look at our friends and family, or maybe coworkers or random folk we run into and give them credit for all the good things they’ve done. Or we decide that, at all costs, we want to help them to succeed. We even put ourselves in positions to assist them in attaining what they need to reach their goals. Day after day, we make ourselves available to “help” in any way that we can and, without realizing it, we push ourselves further and further down the line. We become the kid that never voluntarily gets chosen. The problem with this is that, we are the ones doing the choosing. How do I know? Well, because I was that kid…. not necessarily in elementary school, because I was trying to hide from the captain, but uh… in adult life. I NEVER chose myself. Yes, I have dreams, visions, aspirations, all of which God has placed within me, but I was continuously giving up “me time” to help everyone else get their turn at the plate. Now, don’t misunderstand me, there is nothing wrong with helping others if you have the capability. What is wrong, is using your “helping others” as an excuse to dismiss your own calling. That’s terrible! It’s like telling God, “Uh, yes I know you called me to do this, but they need me right now.” Yeah… I repented for that.
One day, I took a look at my schedule, and you know what? I wasn’t on it! Geez!!! HOW??? I had to pencil myself in when it should’ve been the other way around. There were days that I would fall asleep trying to finish my own work, trying to catch up to myself. Not because it was that amazing and I was working really hard, but because I’d waited until I didn’t have the time and tried squeezing me in before bed. Definitely not the way God intended for it to be. And God had to really show me that I was overbooked for no reason. I was so busy with stuff, that I didn’t have time to hear God tell me that He hadn’t told me to do any of it. It took for me to get exhausted and physically sick and unable to do anything for a few days for me to hear Him speak to me. Sometimes helping isn’t really helpful.
Remember that Matthew 6:33 says, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” In seeking God first, I have allowed Him to order my steps and my activity. There is no more penciling Alecia in, but now I am able to add in and assist others as He sees fit. In the New Living Translation of the Bible, Jesus says in John 9:4, “We must quickly carry out the tasks assigned us by the one who sent us. The night is coming, and then no one can work.” What good are we if we’ve done everything but what we were created to do? What good am I to the Kingdom of God if my purpose isn’t fulfilled because I was too busy with someone else’s? I am no good at all!
Yes, it’s good to help others… it’s good to choose others… but now, it’s time to choose you. No more excuses, go get it done.
Alright, I’m going to sleep (I think).
Love y’all (I really do), K. Bye!
Ms. A.M.White