Patient: bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint…
I know…I know…enough with the definitions. But I need to know what these words mean so I know what I lack. Patience is a virtue that I have yet to fully obtain. Sure I have learned to “hold on” and “wait” but I complain about it. I admit that I do…I always have something to say or if I am remotely able to shut up about it…I think it. I get irritated…I am irritated………… But I have to learn to be PATIENT!!! Some of the most important lessons are the hardest to learn and they seem like the looooonnnnnggggeeeesssttt to learn. I’m working though…trying really hard to be good…to be calm…to be nice…to be PATIENT. Oh…God must be doing a perfect work in me because it’s not easy. I do know for myself that right when I get ready to give up…right when I just know it’s impossible…things happen. You would think it would be a piece of cake by now. But nope…not that easy…the more I desire, the more patience I need. *true story*
“But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.” ~Romans 8:25
I know…I know…more scriptures too…but YES…because if I am to live my life by the bible then I best know what it says about what I’m dealing with.
Just when I think I’ve learned what I need from a lesson…here comes something else, same book…different chapter. But I do know that I am becoming better in the process. Things that used to REALLY bother me seem so simple…so small…so insignificant. It takes more to get me worked up…all because of patience. Don’t get it twisted…I learned a long time ago to be careful what I ask for. It has been a while since I sent up the old “Lord give me patience” prayer. Why??? Because it seems when I do…I am tested that much more. But I just wanna be better…better than I was yesterday…heck…better than I was 12 minutes ago when I went off on somebody. I work with children so I see tantrums everyday…good long drawn out ones when they can’t get what they want. The kicking, screaming, yelling kind…yep…that’s what I want to do sometimes. And I HATE tantrums……PATIENCE…a virtue that I have yet to fully obtain. A word that I have yet to realize the full meaning of.
If anybody has the cheat code for this one…please let me borrow it. Until then…I will just keep waiting…calmly…with my mouth SHUT (or so I’ll try…*strength needed*)….patiently………..
~Ms. A.M. White