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The Thing Is……

This year, in our kindergarten classes, we had the opportunity to watch caterpillars go through “the process.”  The teachers ordered these cups with caterpillars in them.  Within each cup were five caterpillars and a solid substance, which is the food they eat off of until they cocoon (can I use that word like that? Oops…already did).  They ate and moved around for a number of days before they began to form themselves into a chrysalis.  Now, I’d seen this before; we’d ordered something similar when I worked in the office of a childcare center, but I’d never “paid attention.”  Each of them, between moments to hours of each other, began to crawl up the designated surface and “assume the position” in preparation to form their chrysalis.  The thing that caught my attention was that they all began this process around the same time.  After this stage was over, they all came forth as butterflies…AROUND THE SAME TIME.

I liked the way this information was worded…..”Within the chrysalis the old body parts of the caterpillar are undergoing a remarkable transform

ation, called ‘metamorphosis,’ to become the beautiful parts that make up the butterfly that will emerge” (

Again, what got me was that all five of them began their process seemingly, together.  This meant that there was no question about what was going on…they all knew and understood “the process.”

So…how is all of this relevant???  Well, I’m glad you asked… 🙂  We all must complete our own metamorphosis. The thing is, we can’t complete it with everyone.  I noticed that the ones that God positioned and placed in my life, shared the same time of transformation as I did.  We had our own process, of course, which caused us each to complete our own change.  No one’s transformation was the same and each of our outcomes were different but the initial process was timed perfectly… God.  Some may have been more drastic than others but it was a process that was understood.

Now, I’m not perfect and I knew that there would be times that people would removed from my life.  I’m also sure I could have handled some things differently in order for other things and relationships to end differently but God let me know that those ties would be severed, no matter what I did.  It was hard for me…like I’m sure it’s hard for you to let go of those that you love or consider “your circle.”  Those that REALLY know me, know how possessive I am with people that are close to me.  How close?  Well, once you are “close”, you are MINE!   I mean, I’m like a toddler with ‘my people’ and you belong to me!  Now, I know I have to share but in my mind, I only share you with others that I consider to be mine.  And I mean all this in the sense that I don’t allow everyone close to me so there are very few that are.  Sooooo, losing or being separated from anyone that I considered close to me is TOUGH!  I can be likened to a toddler, losing her favorite binky  and having to be weened off of it.  Yeah…..

God showed me in various ways, my life without them, but that’s not what I wanted.  So, He handled things.  I noticed that those that He removed, didn’t ‘morph’, if you will, when I did…when WE did.  Not that it was a problem for them, I mean, we’re all different and we go through processes at different times, but my realizing that was God letting me know that they were no longer “mine.”  They noticed that I wasn’t in the place that I once was…a place that included them.  While I was in my chrysalis, I became more distant and less accessible to those that were not in that stage with me.  I wasn’t present…I was failing at being a part of their lives.  Again, that was hard for me and some endings were easier than others.  God put me in a place where I couldn’t reach anyone but who He intended for me to reach.

Now I see why all the caterpillars had to begin their process together.  One isn’t forming while the others wait and then feel left behind when they can’t fly.  They go through and they fly together.  It is understood that they are changing, transforming, emerging.  And…..they don’t all come out looking alike but, they have their own identity and come out at the appointed time for them.  So, even if one or more is going through, they all know what’s going on.  As I went through the process of becoming, and “MY” people continued as well, we all understood where we stood and God made sure of that.  Those that I was separated from couldn’t recognize my process because they hadn’t been in it.  No amount of explaining or apologizing or ‘do overs’ could make them understand, or make our relationship better.

I asked God, “did it have to happen like that? Did it have to be like this?” and He answered me and said, “Baby girl, if it wouldn’t have happened the way it did, it would have happened in a more painful way.  Your separation was inevitable.  Embrace your metamorphosis and those that are ‘yours’!”

The thing is…..we all have a process to go through.  Allow God to choose the people that will go through it with you.  A chrysalis only holds one caterpillar…it forms around them and allows just enough room for them to change within.  YOUR chrysalis can only hold you!  You can’t try to sneak anyone inside with you.  God will place the right people in position at the right time.

Let Him.

Trust Him.

Embrace your metamorphosis.

Love you all!

Ms. A.M.White

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