You know….there are times when I feel….hmmmm…..I don’t know….forgotten? Left out…unremember
ed…unconsidered. And not by any specific group of people or in any specific arena……just sometimes, I feel pushed aside. There are times when I feel like I’m the only one that notices me. There are moments when I feel like I’m the only one without an invite. Like I’m only remembered or called upon when someone needs something or a task needs to be completed. I get that feeling sometimes……it’s a human feeling……I’m a human. There are times when I even get angry that stuff bothers me so much. Like…why am I trippin??!!??
I’m the girl that, some would say, “cares too much” or “loves too hard” and others would gladly and loudly declare that I don’t care enough. I have the great task of balancing many duties and some would call that “wearing many hats”. Often, it seems that I’m expected to fill tall orders and more often, it seems that I can’t even get someone to pick up my already paid for coffee order. So many days of the week (like 9, but there are only 7), I feel pressured to NOT fail, NEVER get tired, while doing one million things AND keeping a genuine smile on my face.
And you know what??? I’m not sure that I’d have it any other way. You see, not many people can honestly say that they’d do all the things that I do with a smile on their face. I am honored to be chosen for this life that I live. Now, I’m not bragging on myself…nope…I am definitely NOT doing that. I’m bragging on the grace of God. He sustains me and gives me the strength to do what He’s called me to do. Among other things, I’ve learned that He has called me to serve…”with gladness”. (“Serve the Lord with gladness:” Psalms 100:2). I have also learned that in serving the Lord, that means serving others. It’s a calling…of mine….and I own it!
Also, all those times that I feel forgotten, well, He NEVER forgets me, and most of those times, He just wants me to be still and stay put. (“Be still and know that I am God:” Psalms 46:10). It’s this flesh of mine that TRIES to convince me that I NEED to be surrounded by people and that I need to be hanging out and on everyone’s top 10 friends list. Knowing good and well that being around too many people at once, especially for extended periods of time, makes me anxious…..itch….exhausted….and sad. LOL!!!! But really…….. Daily, Christ reminds me that I’m His and that I am to take all of my problems to Him. Sometimes I’m reminded of this simply because He makes sure that there is NOBODY else that I can call. (“In the day of my trouble I will call upon thee: for thou wilt answer me.” Psalms 86:7). He also reminds me that I am called to be separate. Sometimes that means separate from everyone…as a Levite, I’ve had to learn how to be apart from the hustle and the bustle and just go before God. (“Thus shalt thou separate the Levites from among the children of Isreal: and the Levites shall be mine.” Numbers 8:14).
You know what else? Most of the time, when go through these fits of emotion, it’s because I haven’t been in my Bible enough (and sometimes I just need food and a nap). (“And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.” Luke 4:4). I surely don’t skip meals….not on purpose anyway….so I shouldn’t be willing to skip my time in God’s word! It’s essential to my day….my health….my mood….YOUR well-being! (Fa real do). I used to let others convince me that I was responsible for my own happiness….and that’s all good and well if you believe that, but I’ve learned that my happiness rests as I rest in God. Now, I’ve tried going the “create your own happiness” route and it backfired….majorly! (“Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” Psalms 37:4).
NOTHING that I feel or go through can take away the love that God gives. (“For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39). And the same for you…NOTHING that you are up against has the capability to separate you from the love of God. Don’t allow any of it to be a distraction from where He is taking you.
None of this was my complaint, but rather MY realization that my solitude, identity, worth, and purpose ALL lie in Christ. God is my validation and nothing else is relevant unless He makes it so. You see, every capability that I have to meet any need, comes from Him. I’ve learned to own it….seek Him (praying before ANY decision)….and bask in His favor over my life. So yes, there are times when I get frustrated, but only He can solve that. He got you too!!! So…you are the unforgotten!!! Own it!!!
Thanks for reading……it means bunches!!!
Love y’all!!!!! :-*
Ms. A.M.White
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