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I had one of “those days!” You know…”those days”…the ones that that just don’t seem to go as planned?  “Those days” that feel like they fall apart at every seam? I planned for a great day…a day full of awesomeness! Or at least as close to normal as I can get.  But…(BIG but) I had a pretty ROUGH day. I mean, not everyday is the greatest, I get that, and I don’t expect it to be but I usually don’t let it get to me like today.  I LITERALLY questioned EVERYTHING but the existence of God (I KNOW He’s REAL!!!)…but EVERYTHING ELSE! Why is the sun so bright? What am I doing here? Did I hear You incorrectly??? Are you SURE that this is where you want me??? Why the heck did I wear this sweater?  Is this really snow? Uh…did I just step on a rock??? (Lol…you get the point.) It was one of those days where I questioned my capabilities.  I wondered if what it takes is within me. I know that what I do is worth it…I never question that…working with children is always worth it. But I questioned if I was the right one for the job.  If this was actually what I heard God tell me to do or if I need to just stay in bed tomorrow.

I sat at my desk, feeling somewhat defeated and God whispered…remember my word…..”For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” Jeremiah 29:11

Usually, I get off and have a chance to regroup, I come home and just sit or I get myself together and head to my second job, which is pretty laid back.  Not tonight, I think it was “come for Alecia day” and nobody told me to prepare myself.  Like…I really think that it was written on my face that it was okay to come for my head and place it on a platter.  Or on the menu…that’s it…it was on the menu…a triple venti Alecia’s life latte with extra “can I see your manager???”  Thankfully, God speaks to me, and I’ve learned to heed EVERYTHING that He says.  He’d let me know that I needed to just read and pray before I headed to my second job…and boy did I need that!!!  I had one…nope…a few of those defining moments that proved to me that I have God and He provides me “shut mouth grace.”  Did you know that sometimes it hurts to shut up??? It literally hurt to keep my mouth shut and smile but I did it.  It wasn’t so much the shutting up that got to me, but it was the blatant disrespect that came along with it.  I wanted to cry…I mean the entire night after, I choked back tears because I felt like all day, stuff just kept getting piled on top of me and that last straw…you know, the one where you just feel dumb and defeated because you can’t do anything?…yeah…that straw……. But God let me know that as long as He is in my corner…all four corners…I don’t have to feel defeated. He had to remind me that displaying the characteristics of Christ NEVER gets old.  “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” Galations 6:9 I mean, they did talk about Him, hate him, laugh at Him, disrespect Him, and beat Him.  Yet….He still loved them!  And He commands us to love as He did.  “Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the Lord.” Leviticus 19:18  I had to let it go.

So…for the duration of my shift, I held back my tears and smiled.  Oh…but when I got to my car, I let it all out. I cried all they way home…up the stairs…into my apartment…to the shower…and then…I was done.  It’s okay to cry…I had to learn that…but you gotta know when to stop, clean your face, and move on.  God always seems to tap me on the shoulder and say, “okay baby girl, that’s enough.” Yeah…time for me to dry it up.

SOOOOOOOO…needless to say, I learned a few things today that I’d like to share with you……..

1.Just because you have a tough day, doesn’t mean that you don’t belong where you are. God allows us to experience certain things for reasons that we may not always understand at first. Today, God let me know that rough days are inevitable but whether or not I choose to learn from them and trust Him through them is up to me.  Stay put…it’ll be worth it.  “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” Isaiah 40: 31

2.No matter how good you are, how nice you are, or how broad your smile is, there is a chance that someone will discount you.  There are some people that are intimidated by your joy…and not necessarily because they don’t like you.  You will encounter people who won’t understand your happiness and won’t dare try but they will try to shake you.  Today, I had to learn not to take it personal but to pray for those people that, someday, they experience God’s joy.

3.How you handle a rough day is a reflection of both your character and your humility.  Today, I encountered someone who was just “having a bad day.”  But she chose to splatter the residue of her bad day all over me.  It really messed with me. I mean it was rough and all I could do was smile and walk away.  It made me aware though…aware that there are a couple different ways to handle a bad day.  You can either take it in stride and learn from what’s happening and still offer to share your joy with others, OR, you can take it out on others by your words and actions towards them.  Today, I chose the high road and I really understand how important it is to treat others with love and respect because you never know what kind of day they’ve had or what kind of life their living.

Today, I could have let MY DAY interfere with the way I treated others.  Instead, I decided to be led by God and though it hurt, though I wanted to just come home, crawl in bed, and try again in about a month.  😉  (It’s like that every now and then.)  I had to keep bearing my cross…keep following Christ…keep denying myself and how “I” would have handled it.  “Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.”  Matthew 16:24

Remember, you are in control of YOUR atmosphere, don’t let anyone cause you to believe otherwise.  And don’t forget, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue……..”  (see Proverbs 18:21)

Ms. A.M.White

Yeah…that kinda day!  LOL!!!

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