So, I haven’t really worked out since right before my dad passed. It seemed that the more his health declined, the less I took care of mine. Before, I enjoyed working out, sometimes to the point that if I’d missed my workout for the day, I’d be up past midnight trying to get it in. But all of the just wasn’t important to me anymore.
Anyhoo, I recently decided that I was gonna get my life together and get this body back in order. I completed my first “real” workout and let me tell you…. I was tired! Of course, I didn’t start off slow, I jumped right in there with the tough stuff. I even started to wear down midway through and I got frustrated with myself because of it. Then, I heard God say, “Stop expecting to start where you left off. Sometimes, you
must start over and that’s okay.” And you know what? He was right. Well, yeah, of course He was… but you know what I mean. I was expecting too much of myself. I was wanting to breeze through when I am currently out of shape and couldn’t catch my breath. And no, I’m not shaming myself, but I am acknowledging that I was putting too much pressure on Me. Then it dawned on me that I have been doing that very thing since my daddy died… trying to hurry up and be “normal” again (whatever that is). I’ve been trying to just jump back in there, in the middle of the race when I’ve needed to head back to the starting line because nothing is the same.
See, when we put those “immediate result” expectations on ourselves, we get set up for frustration and are more prone to quit again. What I haven’t said is that this isn’t the first time that I have tried to begin again with my fitness journey. Nope, I tried working out a few months back, got discouraged, and gave up because it didn’t come as easy as I felt it should in lieu of my previous accomplishments. God had to remind me that it took time to get where I was before, and this time would be no different. Consistency and realistic goals are keys to success. Keys that will help me to regain my stamina… not only when exercising, but in life. You cannot “diet pill” good results, you’ve gotta work, sometimes from the ground up the second or 3rd (or 4th – 10th) time around.
When I lost my daddy, fitness wasn’t the only thing that I set aside. So many goals were left unreached, I put some holds on purpose, and my writing suffered. I grieved… I’m still grieving, but I’m focused now. I have had to stop expecting to start from where I left off. For one thing, I have changed, and in case you didn’t notice, that circumstance you’ve faced has changed you too. Another thing, I have had to regroup and decide to start over. It was a decision that I had to make; be frustrated and stay stuck, or regroup and start over.
Please know that you’ll be out of breath and out of shape. It’ll hurt more before it hurts less, you will want to quit again, but I’m begging you to keep going. You cannot afford to this time. So, I’m telling you, just like God told me, “Stop expecting to start where you left off. Sometimes, you must start over and that’s okay.”
A.M.White